關於道別與成長

這集好味小姐聊到與心愛之物的道別，讓我想到在2020年時我大量出售了收藏的書、影音作品。

This episode of “Lady Flavor" discussing bidding farewell to beloved possessions reminded me of the massive sell-off of my collection of books and media in 2020.

在TAAZE可以上架的就在上頭賣，TAAZE不收的就問茉莉二手書店要不要收，如果不收我還有找到一個捐贈CD的管道，總之就是一心只想著要把囤積在家中的收藏品捨離。

Anything that could be listed on TAAZE was put up for sale there, while those not accepted by TAAZE were offered to the Mollie Used Books. If they declined, I found another channel to donate CDs. My singular focus was to rid myself of the accumulated collections at home.

我從小就愛買書、買CD、VCD、DVD，直到出社會都持續購入。在大學時聽過一個教授說，人到一定年紀自然而然就會想要處理這些身外物，教授當時說他正慢慢地把他的藏書捨離。那時聽到教授這麼說我簡直不可置信，完全無法想像怎麼會有人願意把自己的收藏品捨棄，結果，沒想到我也迎來了那個時刻。

Since childhood, I’ve been fond of purchasing books, CDs, VCDs, DVDs, a habit that persisted into my adulthood. During university, I once heard a professor mention that as people reach a certain age, they naturally feel inclined to declutter their possessions. He spoke of slowly divesting himself of his book collection. At that time, I couldn’t believe someone would willingly part with their cherished collections. Yet, unexpectedly, my turn came.

現在回想為什麼我會開始做理應對我來說這麼困難的斷捨離，應該是和男友(現在的先生)交往後，意識到有一天我會搬出這個家，我不可能帶著這麼多的收藏品搬過來搬過去，於是開始湧起一個念頭，要來整理這些，其實沒在讀、沒在聽、沒在看的收藏品。

Reflecting now, I believe the catalyst for my daunting decluttering process was my relationship with my boyfriend (now husband). Realizing that one day I would move out of my current home, I couldn’t possibly lug around so many collections. Thus, the idea of sorting through items I no longer read, listen to, or watch emerged.

去年底我也再從當時歸為要留下的收藏品中，篩出大概有40張CD或DVD拿去茉莉二手書店賣。幾乎都是當時花了很多錢買的日版專輯、單曲，初回盤、通常盤當時都會買，真的花了不少錢啊。結果茉莉最終估價總額是：270元。一疊是估價後的唱片，另一疊是估價人員說不收的，問我要帶回去還是交給他們處理，我馬上請對方幫忙處理，既然都決定要捨離了就別再藕斷絲連。

當時聽到270元的反應是非常平靜的。

Towards the end of last year, I sifted through the collection I had decided to keep, picking out around 40 CDs and DVDs to sell at Mollie Used Books. Most were Japanese editions, special albums, and singles that I had spent a significant amount on. Yet, the final estimate from the bookstore was only NT$270. Some were accepted for resale while others weren’t, and I promptly requested them to handle the unwanted ones. Upon hearing the offer, I remained surprisingly calm.

本就知道價格不會高，但也沒想到這麼低，而一想到和當初購買的金額比起來，就有點——其實沒什麼感覺耶——我以為我會很失落，結果我內心的感受是「無」。就像在嘴巴裡放進一個本以為會很辣的食物，結果感受了5秒後發現，根本一點都不辣耶！的那種感覺。

放置在家中角落好幾年也沒拿出來讀的書、聽的唱片，不如給那些需要的人吧，當時和現在都是這樣想的。事實上出清後也從來沒有產生後悔的情緒。

Though I knew the prices wouldn’t be high, the realization that they were even lower than expected left me with an indifferent feeling. It was akin to expecting something spicy but finding it bland instead. Those books and records, left untouched in a corner for years, would be of better use to someone else. And I didn’t regret my decision at all.

在這裡放上當初拍的一些照片，作為最後的紀念。

I put some photos below taken at that time as a final memento.

前面有寫到斷捨離的契機是意識到自己要離家，而那是其中一個契機，另一個契機則是2020年在朋友的鼓勵之下開始展開持續至今的閱讀修養計畫。

The impetus for this decluttering was partly the acknowledgment of leaving home, but also the encouragement of friends in 2020 to embark on a continuous reading project.

2020年我讀了31本書，全都是向圖書館借閱的書，這讓我明白，我是那種買了書之後不愛讀，借的書拚命讀的類型。我捨離的書應該有8成都沒讀過，於是我想，如果有一天想讀這些書，我再去圖書館借就好了，於是就動了把藏書捨離的念頭。

事實上2020年到現在我幾乎不買實體書了，但讀的書卻比以往都上許多，擁書只是抱著書的形體，而讀書則是把書放入心裡和腦裡。

Last year, I read 31 books, all borrowed from the library. This made me realize that I’m someone who buys books but seldom reads them, whereas I diligently read borrowed books. Since then, I’ve almost stopped purchasing physical books, yet my reading has increased significantly. Owning books is merely about holding their physical form, but reading them is about internalizing their contents.

前陣子和同事聊天，同事說她很愛買文具尤其是筆，而她也會買特殊造型的筆收藏，我順口問妳喜歡寫字嗎？她說不怎麼喜歡，所以買的筆都只是放著，因為幾乎不會有用到的時候。我心想，我很愛寫字，我從沒買過造型筆，因為筆對我來說就是實用的工具，常常寫到沒水，所以家裡也很多替換筆芯。

同事買筆的行為不就跟我以往愛買書一樣嗎？買來卻不讀。不知道這位同事會不會有哪一天也會因為什麼契機動了捨離的念頭呢？

Recently, during a conversation with a colleague, she mentioned her fondness for stationery, especially pens. She would collect pens with unique designs but rarely used them since she didn’t enjoy writing much. I couldn’t help but draw a parallel between her behavior and my past love for buying books but not reading them. I wondered if she would also one day feel the urge to declutter her possessions.

以上就是我深刻的道別故事，我已能向曾對我來說無法捨棄的身外物道別，自覺是很成熟的心境。

This is my profound farewell story, bidding adieu to possessions that were once hard to let go of, signifying a mature mindset.

順帶一提，好奇一查才知道，原來日本有個詞專門用來形容藏書卻不讀的行為：積読(つんどく)。沒想到這已經是種社會現象了啊。總是發現，本以為是個人的行為最終卻是種集體行為，真有趣。

On a side note, I discovered a Japanese term specifically for the behavior of accumulating unread books: “Tsundoku". It’s fascinating how what seems like individual behavior often turns out to be a collective phenomenon.