人間修煉

總是會有那麼些時候明明日子一樣過得好好的，但卻突然被不安襲擾，像是被一片厚烏雲籠罩，覺得前途黯淡、人生無望。我想這些時刻大概是未知的力量給予的反思時刻，「再走下去會撞到牆，轉彎吧！」

There are moments when life seems to be going smoothly, yet suddenly, a sense of unease creeps in, like being enveloped by thick dark clouds, casting a shadow over the future and making life seem hopeless. Perhaps these moments are reflections prompted by the unknown forces, urging one to rethink their path, as if saying, “You’re heading towards a wall, make a turn!"

那麼該往哪邊轉呢？那是自己得去面對的難題。只能真實地、赤裸地和自己對話，沒有正確答案的問答，只能反覆問自己：「這真的是你要的嗎？不是屈就於恐懼、期待，而是真正思考後得出的決定嗎？」

But which way to turn? That is the challenging question one must face. It requires an honest and raw dialogue with oneself, devoid of definite answers, only the repeated questioning: “Is this truly what you want? Is it a decision born out of genuine reflection rather than succumbing to fear and expectations?"

想來想去，翻來覆去，總會得出一個答案，而那答案雖然不見得直接關聯扣問，但總是簡單而明確，我要什麼、不要什麼；我想做什麼、不想做什麼。這是值得欣賞的屬於我的性格之面相——坐而言不如起而行。

After much contemplation, turning things over and over, a simple and clear answer emerges. Though not necessarily directly related to the initial questioning, it is a declaration of desires and dislikes, what one wants and doesn’t want to do. This is an admirable aspect of my personality – the ability to act rather than just speak.

於是經過被烏雲、暴風、雷電交加的情緒凌遲後，我可能轉彎了，可能往右或往左，可能只轉了一個小角度，可能旁人看不出任何變化，但心境不同了，就像煮熟的蛋不再是蛋液，「渡過」的我，已非同樣的我。

So, after weathering the emotional storm of dark clouds, storms, and thunder, I may have made a turn – perhaps to the right or left, a subtle shift that may go unnoticed by others. Yet, my state of mind is different, akin to a boiled egg no longer being liquid. Having passed through this, the “me" that emerges is not the same.

這時，總算可以說，烏雲散去、天清氣朗，內心又恢復平靜安穩，在下個不安來襲前盡量讓自己變堅強，以待那時的痛苦、揪心、懷疑、鄙棄。人生起起伏伏，像鐘擺一樣，我們都得學會調適，佛教認為每一世都在修煉，這就是人間修煉的一環吧。

At this point, I can finally say that the dark clouds have dispersed, the skies have cleared, and tranquility has returned within. I endeavor to strengthen myself as much as possible before the next wave of unease strikes, to brace for the pain, doubt, and criticism that may come. Life is full of ups and downs, like a pendulum, and we must learn to adapt. In Buddhism, it is believed that each life is a form of spiritual practice, and this is just one part of the journey of human cultivation.