發表於 Delving into Happiness

探聽幸福——關於阿嬤的小故事12

阿嬤的幸福之一是喝熱湯,絕對滾燙的熱湯。湯一定是大滾後關火馬上端上桌的熱度,如果在吃飯期間溫度下降了,阿嬤就會馬上再去加熱,明明那個溫度對一般人來說已經夠燙了,但對阿嬤來說不是滾燙的熱度就是「涼掉了」,「涼掉就不好喝了」。

One of Grandma’s ideas of happiness is drinking hot soup—absolutely boiling hot soup. The soup must be brought to a full boil, the heat turned off, and served immediately. If its temperature drops even slightly during the meal, Grandma will reheat it at once. To most people, the soup would already be scalding, but to Grandma, anything less than boiling means it has “gone cold.” “Cold soup doesn’t taste good,” she says.

從小和阿嬤生活在一起,不知不覺我也習慣那樣滾燙的湯,甚至在外頭店家喝到非滾燙的湯都覺得不好喝、去別人家喝到接近常溫的湯會感到「噁心」。

I grew up living with Grandma, and without realizing it, I became accustomed to soup that hot. Even now, when I drink soup that isn’t boiling hot at restaurants, I find it tasteless. If I’m served soup that’s close to room temperature at someone else’s home, I even feel a sense of disgust.

婚後不知多久的時間,我從一個會嫌棄湯不夠熱、無湯不歡的人,變成湯不那麼熱也行、甚至沒有喝湯也不會難過的人了。

Somewhere after getting married, I changed. I went from being someone who complained when soup wasn’t hot enough—someone who couldn’t bear a meal without soup—to someone who doesn’t mind lukewarm soup, or even no soup at all.

結婚後搬出阿嬤家,沒有阿嬤每天一大碗公、兩大碗公的燙湯訓練,我的喉嚨、舌頭已經變得不能喝太燙的湯了。雖然我感到遺憾,但先生終於放心我不會再增加得食道癌的風險了。

After marriage, I moved out of Grandma’s house. Without her daily “training” of one or two big bowls of scalding soup, my throat and tongue gradually lost the ability to tolerate such heat. Although I feel a bit regretful about it, my husband is finally relieved—at least now I’m no longer increasing my risk of esophageal cancer.

變成對湯的溫度不要求的風格後,現在去探望阿嬤,覺得還是希望我喝燙湯的阿嬤真是有怪癖呢。明明說了那樣的溫度可以卻還是堅持加熱;一碗是溫度較下降的湯、一碗是滾燙的湯,明明說了想喝溫度較低的湯,阿嬤還是堅持要我喝滾燙的湯。

Now that I no longer insist on soup being piping hot, visiting Grandma makes me realize just how peculiar her persistence is. She still wants me to drink hot soup. Even after I say the temperature is fine, she insists on reheating it. One bowl is lukewarm, the other boiling hot. Even when I say I want the cooler one, Grandma insists that I drink the boiling one.

雖然有點困擾,但有個這麼用心、全心全意只想準備好食物餵飽你的親人存在,真的是件幸福的事情。除了阿嬤再不會有人這麼關心自己「吃飽了嗎?」

It can be a little troublesome. But having someone who cares so deeply—someone who puts all their heart into preparing food just to make sure you’re full—is truly a form of happiness. Other than Grandma, no one cares so persistently about whether I’ve “eaten enough.”

常覺得阿嬤是NPC,總是來回在客廳和廚房之間,講話的內容9成跟吃有關,從前會希望能和阿嬤有食物以外的話題,但現在已經能從食物感受到阿嬤的關心和溫暖了。

I often think of Grandma as an NPC, endlessly walking back and forth between the living room and the kitchen, with ninety percent of her dialogue revolving around food. I used to wish we could talk about things beyond meals. But now, I’ve learned to feel her care and warmth through food itself.

發表於 Reading

2025年讀過的書

比起前幾年今年是閱讀最緩慢的一年,比較大的里程碑應該是我終於成為《紅樓夢》的書迷了。

最近知道一個讀書的觀念,先廣讀,知道一本書大概在講什麼就好,如果有興趣再細讀,再針對主題找相關的書籍閱讀。

我想這大概是做學問的人應該有的方式吧。但我不是做學問的人,只是手上沒書就不舒服的人,所以大概不適用這方法。我還是習慣把書從頭到尾讀完(少數書實在太晦澀會放棄)。

至於這幾年為什麼這麼認真閱讀,起因應該是得知大學時尊敬的老師去逝。這位老師是我大學期間修課老師中最認真備課的老師,他開出的書單大概我一輩子都讀不完吧。老師每年暑假都超認真備課,即使是同樣的課也會開出不同的書單,非常有心,比學生都認真讀書啊。

但我大學時非常不認真,從不好好把應該讀的書讀完,即使可以應付考試,但仍舊心虛,這個心虛一直維持到我得知老師去逝時。

知道老師再也不在了,才終於下定決心好好讀書。我從大學的網站上把老師近年來授課大綱上列出的書單都存下來,然後慢慢展開讀書計畫。

這個讀書計畫持續幾年了,老師的書單都是被我列在「應該讀的書」,其實蠻有壓力的,因為得暫時不能讀想讀的書。

認真讀了幾年書,我的心虛已經淡去,雖然老師的書單只消化了一點點,但已不再覺得自己愧對老師了。

2026年開始,我想把自己想讀的書列在優先選項,應該讀的書則是穿插在想讀的書中間。或許這樣我終於可以輕鬆閱讀了吧。雖然以結果來說可能比例沒差多少,但心理壓力差很多。

曾國藩〈學問之道〉:「蓋世人讀書,第一要有志,第二要有識,第三要有恆。有志則斷不甘為下流。有識則知學問無盡,不敢以一得自足,如河伯之觀海,如井蛙之窺天,皆無識者也。有恆則斷無不成之事。此三者缺一不可。」

目前只能做到「有識」啊,既然永遠讀不完那麼就讀興之所向的吧。

為什麼會持續閱讀,希望透過閱讀達到的目的為何?我想應該有三個目的。

第一,離開學校之後就沒有機會「輕易」地獲得寶貴的知識了。沒有老師、沒有學習的場域、沒有一起學習的同儕,於是很茫然,靠著閱讀便能維持思考的能力。就現實的層面來說,閱讀的學習成本不高,很多書圖書館都有,即使用買的也不會貴到負擔不起。

第二,有了輸入便有了輸出的機會。閱讀的素材可以作為寫作或與人分享的題材。只要能搆到一點「創作」的邊,就感覺靈魂昇華了一點。

第三,成就感。在日常生活中很難獲得什麼成就感,但是慢慢累積閱讀和筆記量,可以看見自己努力過的痕跡,每次打開我的「卡片盒」(數位筆記本)都很有成就感。

以下是2025年我讀過的書、論文和短評,還沒讀過的人可以當作參考。

  1. 紅樓夢 / 曹雪芹 / 2019 / 三民出版
  2. 傷別離 / 岳南 / 2011 / 時報出版
  3. 文革受難者:關於迫害、監禁和殺戮的尋訪實錄 / 王友琴 / 2004 / 香港開放雜誌出版
  4. 旅途:三老爺林獻堂的生活日常 / 林承俊 / 2021 / 上善人文基金會出版
  5. 新民說:梁啟超的先見之明 / 梁啓超 / 2023 / 複刻文化出版
  6. 我是你的觀護人:凝視犯罪深淵,看見穿透人性裂隙的微光 / 唐珮玲 / 2022 / 漫遊者文化出版
  7. 蘋果橘子思考術(Think Like a Freak: The Authors of Freakonomics Offer to Retrain Your Brain) / Steven D. Levitt, Stephen J. Dubner / 2014 / 大塊文化出版
  8. 生個孩子吧:一個經濟學家的真誠建議(Selfish reasons to have more kids : why being a great parent is less work and more fun than you think) / Bryan Caplan / 2012 / 經濟新潮社出版
  9. 米奇7號(Mickey 7) / Edward Ashton / 2023 / 寂寞出版
  10. 誰讓青春沒有明天:揪出孩子身邊,虎視眈眈的犯罪陷阱 / 戴志揚 / 2023 / 寶瓶文化出版
  11. 血淚漁場:跨國直擊台灣遠洋漁業真相 / 李雪莉、林佑恩、蔣宜婷、鄭涵文 / 2017 / 行人文化實驗室出版
  12. 公民哲學 / 鄧育仁 / 2022 / 國立臺灣大學出版中心出版
  13. 秦可卿新論:才情與情色的特殊演繹 / 歐麗娟 / 第五十二期2016年3月 / 成大中文學報
  14. 從故事到真相:漢娜.鄂蘭與現代公民社會的事實危機 / 李雨鍾 / 第五十五卷第二期 2025年6月 / 歐美研究
  15. 毛澤東時代文學中的氣味與視覺――論社會主義美學的感官法則 / 宋尚詩 / 第八十期 2023年3月 / 臺大中文學報
  16. 彭真在1957年整風、反右派運動中的角色與作為 / 鍾延麟 / 第二十六卷第二期 2014年6月 / 中研院人文社會科學研究中心 人文及社會科學集刊
  17. 論精神障礙者罪責判斷之科際整合:司法精神鑑定之範疇與分際—以德國法為借鏡 / 吳忻穎 / 第40期 2025年4月 / 法務部司法官學院 刑事政策與犯罪防治研究
  18. 論內視鏡取證之容許性 / 劉芳伶 / 第40期 2025年4月 / 法務部司法官學院 刑事政策與犯罪防治研究
  19. 山田全自動のあるある超ベストでござる / 山田全自動 / 2023 / 辰巳出版
  20. またもや山田全自動でござる / 山田全自動 / 2018 / ぴあ出版
  21. 猫の菊ちゃん2 / 湊文 / 2022 / KADOKAWA出版
  22. 猫の菊ちゃん3 / 湊文 / 2024 / KADOKAWA出版
  23. 浮世繪三傑:喜多川歌麿、葛飾北齋、歌川廣重 / Francesco Morena / 2020 / 漢湘文化出版
繼續閱讀 “2025年讀過的書"
發表於 Films and Series

2025年看過的電影和部分影集 Films and Series I Watched in 2025

本來以為今年沒看什麼電影,但回顧在IMDb做的紀錄,也是不少呢。

以下是我在IMDb上留下的簡短評語,沒看過的人可以做參考。

I thought I hadn’t watched many films this year, but looking back at my IMDb log, it turns out there were quite a few.

Below are the short comments I left on IMDb—feel free to use them as reference if you haven’t watched these titles.

繼續閱讀 “2025年看過的電影和部分影集 Films and Series I Watched in 2025″
發表於 Some Thoughts

自己過得去 Getting Through It Alone

不管客觀事實如何,重要的都是個人的主觀感受,因此不需要去問他人對自己在意的事情的看法為何?會怎麼決定?

No matter what the objective facts are, what truly matters is how we feel subjectively. That’s why there’s no need to ask others what they think about something that deeply concerns you—or how they would decide.

每個人的人生關卡都得自己渡過,什麼樣的選擇造就什麼樣的後續,都不得不自己承擔。

Every person must face and cross their own life’s thresholds. Whatever choices we make, we alone must bear their consequences.

詢問的對象即使再親近、再友好,但仍不是你,他不是你的發言人,他認為的解方不見得適合你,頂多作為一種參考。

Even if the person you ask is someone very close, someone who truly cares about you, they are still not you. They are not your spokesperson, and what they believe to be a solution may not fit your situation. At best, their advice can serve as a reference.

那麼「頂多」只能參考的狀況下,「詢問」就變得沒必要了,或許只要在事後「分享」看法也就足夠。

And if something can only serve as a reference at best, then perhaps there’s no real need to ask at all. Maybe it’s enough to simply share your thoughts afterward instead.

遇到事情時總會想問人,就像問路一樣,想問「知道的人」、「走過類似這段路的人」該怎麼辦,但很多時候都得自己走過了,才知道「原來可以這麼辦」。

When things happen, we tend to seek advice—like asking for directions. We want to ask “someone who knows,” or “someone who’s walked a similar path,” what to do. But more often than not, we only understand how to handle it after walking that path ourselves.

當下我們的選擇一定都是在當下權衡之後做出的當下認為最佳的選擇,事後來看當然可能會想到其他的選擇,但懊悔是於事無補,我們只能要求自己在每一次做決定的當下做出「心裡過得去」的選擇。

In any given moment, our decisions are made after careful weighing of circumstances, and they always reflect what we believed was the best choice at that time. Looking back later, we might think of other options, but regret changes nothing. All we can do is make sure that, at every turning point, the choice we make is one our heart can live with.

心裡過不過得去,可能是權衡時最重要的判斷點。

Whether the heart can live with it or not—that may be the most important measure of all.

發表於 Some Thoughts

大人 Adults

我曾經以為「大人」是和「小孩」截然不同的生物,「大人」生來就是「大人」,沒有「小孩」的階段,所以也就沒有童年。

I used to think that “adults” were entirely different beings from “children.” That adults were born as adults—without ever having gone through a childhood, and therefore had no such thing as a “childhood” at all.

第一次聽聞「大人」口述他小時候的點滴時,我非常詫異,「原來大人也有童年嗎?」、「原來大人也有小時候的階段嗎?」內心十分震撼。

The first time I heard an adult talk about their own childhood memories, I was deeply surprised.

“Adults had childhoods too?”

“So adults also went through the stage of being children?”

The thought shook me.

因為身旁的大人不怎麼述說過往,對於青少年的認知也像一片空白,我才自然而然會以為大人是這樣的生物吧。

Perhaps because the adults around me rarely spoke about their past, and their understanding of adolescence itself seemed like a blank page, I naturally came to believe that adults were simply that kind of creature.

認知到大人也是從小孩轉變而成,我對於大人便多了一分親近感,雖然我依然不明白大人為什麼這麼難以溝通。

When I realized that every adult had once been a child, I felt an unexpected sense of closeness—though I still couldn’t understand why they were so hard to talk to.

如今我也成為大人很多年了,但週遭仍有比我年長許多的大人,所以我在他們眼中也仍被當孩子對待。儘管我知道的不見得比他們少。

Now I’ve been an adult myself for many years. Yet there are still adults much older than me, and in their eyes, I’m still treated like a child—even though what I know may not necessarily be less than what they do.

大人懂的事情,小孩不會懂?

小孩懂的事情,大人裝不懂?

Do adults know things that children cannot understand?

Or do children know things that adults pretend not to understand?

在大人的世界裡生活著,久了就會忘了小孩思維的感受,現在回想,或許那些被我誤以為沒有童年的大人並不是刻意如此,而是離童年太遠了,童年已不是隨手可觸及的記憶,需要用點心,把那些已被塵埃覆蓋的過往美好的、酸苦的回憶撢一撢,才會再想起——自己也有過年幼的歲月。

Living in the world of adults for so long, one gradually forgets how it feels to think like a child. Looking back now, perhaps those adults I once thought had no childhood weren’t like that on purpose—they had simply drifted too far from it. Childhood was no longer a memory within easy reach. It takes some effort, a bit of tenderness, to dust off those old recollections—the sweet ones, the bitter ones—and remember, once again, that they, too, were once young.