分類: Some Thoughts

不管客觀事實如何，重要的都是個人的主觀感受，因此不需要去問他人對自己在意的事情的看法為何？會怎麼決定？

No matter what the objective facts are, what truly matters is how we feel subjectively. That’s why there’s no need to ask others what they think about something that deeply concerns you—or how they would decide.

每個人的人生關卡都得自己渡過，什麼樣的選擇造就什麼樣的後續，都不得不自己承擔。

Every person must face and cross their own life’s thresholds. Whatever choices we make, we alone must bear their consequences.

詢問的對象即使再親近、再友好，但仍不是你，他不是你的發言人，他認為的解方不見得適合你，頂多作為一種參考。

Even if the person you ask is someone very close, someone who truly cares about you, they are still not you. They are not your spokesperson, and what they believe to be a solution may not fit your situation. At best, their advice can serve as a reference.

那麼「頂多」只能參考的狀況下，「詢問」就變得沒必要了，或許只要在事後「分享」看法也就足夠。

And if something can only serve as a reference at best, then perhaps there’s no real need to ask at all. Maybe it’s enough to simply share your thoughts afterward instead.

遇到事情時總會想問人，就像問路一樣，想問「知道的人」、「走過類似這段路的人」該怎麼辦，但很多時候都得自己走過了，才知道「原來可以這麼辦」。

When things happen, we tend to seek advice—like asking for directions. We want to ask “someone who knows,” or “someone who’s walked a similar path,” what to do. But more often than not, we only understand how to handle it after walking that path ourselves.

當下我們的選擇一定都是在當下權衡之後做出的當下認為最佳的選擇，事後來看當然可能會想到其他的選擇，但懊悔是於事無補，我們只能要求自己在每一次做決定的當下做出「心裡過得去」的選擇。

In any given moment, our decisions are made after careful weighing of circumstances, and they always reflect what we believed was the best choice at that time. Looking back later, we might think of other options, but regret changes nothing. All we can do is make sure that, at every turning point, the choice we make is one our heart can live with.

心裡過不過得去，可能是權衡時最重要的判斷點。

Whether the heart can live with it or not—that may be the most important measure of all.

我曾經以為「大人」是和「小孩」截然不同的生物，「大人」生來就是「大人」，沒有「小孩」的階段，所以也就沒有童年。

I used to think that “adults” were entirely different beings from “children.” That adults were born as adults—without ever having gone through a childhood, and therefore had no such thing as a “childhood” at all.

第一次聽聞「大人」口述他小時候的點滴時，我非常詫異，「原來大人也有童年嗎？」、「原來大人也有小時候的階段嗎？」內心十分震撼。

The first time I heard an adult talk about their own childhood memories, I was deeply surprised.

“Adults had childhoods too?”

“So adults also went through the stage of being children?”

The thought shook me.

因為身旁的大人不怎麼述說過往，對於青少年的認知也像一片空白，我才自然而然會以為大人是這樣的生物吧。

Perhaps because the adults around me rarely spoke about their past, and their understanding of adolescence itself seemed like a blank page, I naturally came to believe that adults were simply that kind of creature.

認知到大人也是從小孩轉變而成，我對於大人便多了一分親近感，雖然我依然不明白大人為什麼這麼難以溝通。

When I realized that every adult had once been a child, I felt an unexpected sense of closeness—though I still couldn’t understand why they were so hard to talk to.

如今我也成為大人很多年了，但週遭仍有比我年長許多的大人，所以我在他們眼中也仍被當孩子對待。儘管我知道的不見得比他們少。

Now I’ve been an adult myself for many years. Yet there are still adults much older than me, and in their eyes, I’m still treated like a child—even though what I know may not necessarily be less than what they do.

大人懂的事情，小孩不會懂？

小孩懂的事情，大人裝不懂？

Do adults know things that children cannot understand?

Or do children know things that adults pretend not to understand?

在大人的世界裡生活著，久了就會忘了小孩思維的感受，現在回想，或許那些被我誤以為沒有童年的大人並不是刻意如此，而是離童年太遠了，童年已不是隨手可觸及的記憶，需要用點心，把那些已被塵埃覆蓋的過往美好的、酸苦的回憶撢一撢，才會再想起——自己也有過年幼的歲月。

Living in the world of adults for so long, one gradually forgets how it feels to think like a child. Looking back now, perhaps those adults I once thought had no childhood weren’t like that on purpose—they had simply drifted too far from it. Childhood was no longer a memory within easy reach. It takes some effort, a bit of tenderness, to dust off those old recollections—the sweet ones, the bitter ones—and remember, once again, that they, too, were once young.

記得大二在學習社會心理學時有教到「香水是為了鞏固自己和他人的邊界」的概念，所以每次聞到他人的香水味時，都像是被他人製造的結界打到。

I remember learning in my sophomore year’s social psychology class about the idea that “perfume serves to reinforce the boundaries between oneself and others.” Ever since then, whenever I catch a whiff of someone’s perfume, it feels as though I’ve been struck by a barrier they’ve created—a kind of invisible force field.

香水的氣味範圍，就是結界的範圍。

The reach of a fragrance defines the reach of that barrier.

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