最近生活和工作都有動盪，發生很多變化，多到內心沒有餘裕，讀書變得緩慢，也不想寫東西，精神變得比較鬆散，日復一日的感受很明顯。
Recently, both my personal life and work have been quite tumultuous, with many changes happening all at once. This has left me feeling mentally drained, making it difficult to read or write, and resulting in a noticeable day-to-day fatigue.
夏至過了，天氣變得炎熱，但陽光明媚、藍天白雲，晴朗的天氣讓我內心自然湧起一種充滿幸福、幹勁的感覺。
As the summer solstice passed, the weather became hot, but the bright sunshine, blue skies, and clear days filled me with a natural sense of happiness and motivation.
我是晨間型人，早上的精神遠比晚上好，白天天氣好時，會讓我的心情更好、更有動力。
I’m a morning person; my energy levels are far better in the morning than in the evening. Good weather during the day lifts my spirits and boosts my drive.
速記四月到最近的事情：
Here’s a quick recap of the events from April to now:
四月是相聚的月份
和幾年沒見面的高中同學見面，在豐原吃吃喝喝，聊的話題都好令我放鬆，好像大學畢業後就沒再和人這麼開心、無壓力地聊天了，沒有那些「社會成人」的話題，只有動畫、漫畫、日劇、同人的話題。在外頭玩耍後，還去朋友家作客，好像回到學生時期去朋友家玩的感覺，瞬間都覺得自己年輕很多。最後一起看著日劇吃零食結束這次見面。
April: A Month of Reunions
April was filled with gatherings. I met up with high school friend I hadn’t seen in years. We ate and drank in Fengyuan, and the conversations were so relaxing. It felt like I hadn’t had such carefree, pressure-free chats since graduating from university. We talked about anime, manga, Japanese dramas, and fan creations—nothing related to “adulting." I even visited her house, which felt like a throwback to our student days, making me feel youthful. We ended the day by watching Japanese dramas and snacking.
另外還有和一直以來都有聯絡和見面的國小同學吃飯，也是開心的見面，但許多「社會成人」話題像是影子般，不停存在話題中，讓我總會時不時在腦中責備自己、反省自己，社會比較是件想避開卻無所遁形的事情。
I also had a happy reunion with my elementary school friend. However, the “adulting” topics were like shadows, constantly present in our discussions. This made me occasionally self-reflect and criticize myself mentally. Social comparisons are an inescapable reality.
五月是轉折的月份
五月時發生了持續到現在的重大事件，就是我生母因為暈眩急診，結果檢查出有不小的腦部膠質瘤，馬上住院並安排開刀。開刀後確定是高惡性的腫瘤。術後到現在依然無法自己行動。這件事讓我覺得震撼，人怎麼能前一天還正常，隔一天就喪失所有自理能力，生命真的脆弱。
May: A Turning Point
May brought a major, ongoing event. My biological mother was rushed to the emergency room due to dizziness, only to be diagnosed with a significant glioma in her brain. She was immediately hospitalized and scheduled for surgery. The tumor was confirmed to be highly malignant. She still can’t move independently post-surgery. It was a shocking reminder of how fragile life is—one day you’re fine, the next you lose all self-care abilities.
同樣五月，去了高雄看了TwoSet Violin的演出，雖然都是熟悉的梗，但親眼看還是很新奇，尤其是他們真的是小提琴家這件事情，在現場會更體悟到他們演出的厲害。
In the same month, I attended a TwoSet Violin performance in Kaohsiung. Even though I was familiar with their jokes, seeing them live was refreshing. It especially hit home how talented they are as violinists.
六月是新的開始
六月時，把留了一年的長髮剪短了，覺得人好像清爽多了，本來以為能帶來靈感的髮絲，看來只淤積了煩惱。
June: New Beginnings
In June, I cut my hair short after having it long for a year. It felt refreshing. What I thought would inspire creativity turned out to be a source of annoyance.
同樣六月，之前健康檢查時先生有請教醫生噗馬有時會咳嗽，是不是有可能有氣喘，醫生說如果一週咳嗽兩次建議帶去檢查，後來都在觀察噗馬一週咳嗽幾次，累積咳嗽兩次的那天，就馬上預約帶去給醫生檢查。結果確定是有輕微的氣喘。醫生說因為空氣污染，貓貓發生氣喘的情形蠻多的，台中的空氣污染真不是浪得虛名。醫生要我們在家時盡量開空氣清淨機和除濕機，於是確診的當天就和先生去買了Dyson的空氣清淨機。的確擺了空氣清淨機之後還沒聽到噗馬咳嗽，希望這樣的狀況會持續下去。
Also in June, during a health check, my husband consulted the doctor about my cat Puma’s occasional coughing, suspecting asthma. The doctor suggested monitoring and, if Puma coughed twice a week, to bring him in. After observing for a week and confirming the cough, we took him to the vet and he was diagnosed with mild asthma. The doctor explained that air pollution is a common cause of asthma in cats, highlighting Taichung’s notorious air quality. We immediately bought a Dyson air purifier, and since then, Puma hasn’t coughed. I hope this continues.
最近去看了一直想看的《腦筋急轉彎2》，劇情很不錯，讓我想到自己國中的時期那種憋扭的情緒，還有讓我想到，的確隨著年紀長大，快樂、憂傷、憤怒都被社會框架和期待壓抑著，導致最明顯的情緒便是焦慮，像是影片中的阿焦，總是想方設法要做到好，卻反而弄巧成拙。
最後跑工作人員表時，看到阿焦的配音是怪奇物語羅萍(Maya Hawke)配的，好驚喜！我很喜歡她耶～
I recently watched Inside Out 2, which was excellent. It reminded me of my awkward middle school emotions and how, as we grow older, societal expectations suppress our happiness, sadness, and anger, leading to prevalent anxiety. It was a delight to see Maya Hawke, from Stranger Things, voicing a character.
四月到現在讀完的書，其中想和大家分享的如下，附上我的讀後感：
Among the books I’ve read from April to now, I’d like to share the following, along with my reflections:
北歸／岳南
這本書接續《南渡》繼續講抗戰時期困頓的文人們的生活和思想，特別的是對於聞一多的敘述篇幅多，非常具體地刻畫被共產黨吸引而化為鬥士的文人，這是我以前所不知道的。以往只知道毛澤東的反右運動有許多知識分子受到迫害，彌補了我對那段歷史的認知。書中對於胡適作為駐美大使積極演講、爭取美國投入戰爭也多有著墨，這也是我以往所不知的。讀這本書的同時會一直想到，再過幾年哪些人會留在中國、哪些人會來台，哪些人會在反右運動、文革時遭受迫害等等，覺得唏噓。
“The Northward Journey" by Yue Nan
This book continues from “The Southward Journey," detailing the lives and thoughts of intellectuals during the war of resistance. It particularly focuses on Wen Yiduo, vividly depicting his transformation into a communist fighter, which was new to me. It also sheds light on Hu Shi’s efforts as the ambassador to the U.S., advocating for American involvement in the war. It enriched my understanding of that historical period.
廢墟少年：被遺忘的高風險家庭孩子們／李雪莉、簡永達、余志偉
閱讀這本書，我才知道台灣有為數不少的底層少年們因為原生家庭給的一手爛牌，讓他們在生存的邊緣不斷掙扎。在這學歷至上的年代，童工是不被允許的，但家裡沒有經濟支援，少年們只能自己想辦法自立，正當的公司不會聘僱童工，於是他們被逼得往非法的途徑賺取生活費用，而這可能會讓他們留下案底，造成更加限縮的人生發展。
人的觀念和價值觀的範疇，僅會停留在自己的生命經驗裡，因此他們的生命經驗便是讓他們人生機會限縮的原因，他們周遭沒有好的大人可以學習模仿，他們懂的都是非主流的生活樣態。書中訪問的一個一個的個案，都似乎找不到出口，一直在同一個地獄裡輪迴。
報導者真的很棒，願意用心力報導政府、社會不願意正視的黑暗角落裡掙扎著生存的人們，如果不是這本書，我真不知道原來台灣有這麼多被迫在底層輪迴的生命。於是腦中又浮現，自己真是身在福中不知福。
“Children of the Ruins: Forgotten High-Risk Family Kids" by Li Xueli, Jian Yongda, and Yu Zhiwei
This book opened my eyes to the plight of many disadvantaged youths in Taiwan, struggling due to their family circumstances. With education being highly valued, child labor is illegal, but these kids, lacking financial support, are forced into illicit work, limiting their future prospects. The book’s case studies reveal a recurring cycle of hardship and limited opportunities, highlighting societal neglect.
三體1／劉慈欣
好久好久沒有讀到這麼令人興奮的科幻小說了。我是看完影集才開始讀小說，小說建構在已知的現實和未知的想像上，增添了很多真實感，那些物理理論讀來也很具說服力，不是單純的妄想，而是讓讀者覺得好像真的會發生，在我不知道的地方正在發生這些事情也不奇怪。
以往很期待有生之年可以跟外星人接觸就好了，每次想到宇宙都有種紓壓感，但讀完三體，想到地球外的其他文明，有可能過得比地球人更辛苦，就覺得好沒有希望。
“The Three-Body Problem" by Liu Cixin
It’s been a long time since I’ve read such an exhilarating sci-fi novel. The combination of known reality and unknown imagination adds a sense of realism. The scientific theories are convincing, making the story seem plausible. Previously, I was eager for extraterrestrial contact, but this book made me realize that other civilizations might be struggling even more than us, leaving me somewhat disheartened.
以上就是最近的生活速記，在今天這個陽光、白雲、勁風都具備的天氣，終於找到打字的動力了。
This’s a quick recap of my life recently. On this sunny, windy day, I finally found the motivation to write it down.
遲來的啟蒙 Start From Here Now 