仔細想想人生走到如今不得不相信「機運」這回事。
Looking back carefully, I can’t help but believe in the notion of “fortune and timing.”
身邊的長輩們當日也都沒料到日子會發展成今日的樣子，也都說「時運吧」。
The elders around me never imagined that life would unfold the way it has, and they often say, “It’s just the way luck goes.”
看到不得志的人才能明明較那些凡人高，卻總尋不得自己的天地。而我這般貨色竟也還成個樣子，也不禁覺得「機運好吧」。
I’ve seen people of real talent—clearly far above the average—yet they never manage to find their rightful place in the world. Meanwhile, someone as ordinary as I am somehow still manages to stay afloat. It’s hard not to think, “I must’ve just had good fortune.”
最近因為腦子有了空檔於是胡思亂想尋煩惱，思來想去還是沒個方向，於是想到手邊正在讀的《傷別離》和《紅樓夢》。
Lately, with my mind idling a bit, I’ve begun overthinking again, inventing new worries. I keep turning things over in my head but still can’t find any direction. Eventually, my thoughts returned to the books I’ve been reading—Shang Bieli and Dream of the Red Chamber.
那些一代宗師般的文人，一生治學，也沒曾想過人生的末路是如此不堪吧。
Those masterful writers, who devoted their lives to scholarship, probably never imagined their own lives would end in such desolation.
《紅樓夢》第92回
馮紫英道：「人世的榮枯，仕途的得失，總屬難定。」
In Dream of the Red Chamber, Chapter 92, Feng Ziying says:
“The rise and fall of life, the gains and losses of officialdom—these things are always uncertain.”
這麼一解套又寬心了不少，但也是一喜一憂。喜的是職場上那些紛擾煩惡的人事物終會離去；憂的是身邊這些喜愛的人事物總有一天也都要離去。
That line brought me some relief. And yet, it’s bittersweet. I’m comforted knowing the chaos and unpleasant people at work will eventually be gone. But I also dread that the people and things I cherish will one day disappear too.
人生從不如願啊。
Life never unfolds the way one hopes.
遲來的啟蒙 Start From Here Now 