分類: Some Thoughts

發表於 Some Thoughts

不如願 Not as One Wishes

發表於 由Ran撰寫

仔細想想人生走到如今不得不相信「機運」這回事。

Looking back carefully, I can’t help but believe in the notion of “fortune and timing.”

身邊的長輩們當日也都沒料到日子會發展成今日的樣子，也都說「時運吧」。

The elders around me never imagined that life would unfold the way it has, and they often say, “It’s just the way luck goes.”

看到不得志的人才能明明較那些凡人高，卻總尋不得自己的天地。而我這般貨色竟也還成個樣子，也不禁覺得「機運好吧」。

I’ve seen people of real talent—clearly far above the average—yet they never manage to find their rightful place in the world. Meanwhile, someone as ordinary as I am somehow still manages to stay afloat. It’s hard not to think, “I must’ve just had good fortune.”

最近因為腦子有了空檔於是胡思亂想尋煩惱，思來想去還是沒個方向，於是想到手邊正在讀的《傷別離》和《紅樓夢》。

Lately, with my mind idling a bit, I’ve begun overthinking again, inventing new worries. I keep turning things over in my head but still can’t find any direction. Eventually, my thoughts returned to the books I’ve been reading—Shang Bieli and Dream of the Red Chamber.

那些一代宗師般的文人，一生治學，也沒曾想過人生的末路是如此不堪吧。

Those masterful writers, who devoted their lives to scholarship, probably never imagined their own lives would end in such desolation.

《紅樓夢》第92回

馮紫英道：「人世的榮枯，仕途的得失，總屬難定。」

In Dream of the Red Chamber, Chapter 92, Feng Ziying says:

“The rise and fall of life, the gains and losses of officialdom—these things are always uncertain.”

這麼一解套又寬心了不少，但也是一喜一憂。喜的是職場上那些紛擾煩惡的人事物終會離去；憂的是身邊這些喜愛的人事物總有一天也都要離去。

That line brought me some relief. And yet, it’s bittersweet. I’m comforted knowing the chaos and unpleasant people at work will eventually be gone. But I also dread that the people and things I cherish will one day disappear too.

人生從不如願啊。

Life never unfolds the way one hopes.

發表於 Some Thoughts

一世紀的夢 A Century’s Dream

發表於 由Ran撰寫

認清本質，於是不會抱持崇高理想而處處看見不順心的事物而氣惱。

To recognize the essence of things is to stop clinging to lofty ideals—and thus avoid constant frustration when the world fails to align with them.

近年讀了些書，視野廣了點，膽子也大了點，和長輩雜談時還算能表達些許立場。常和長輩聊著聊著就又繞著同樣的議題打轉，因近期剛好有所感，於是就說了「到如今才大夢初醒，這國家早在一世紀前結束了，我們是遺民呀」。長輩笑笑，我再說「這麼想才終於解脫了。」

In recent years, I’ve read a few books. My perspective has widened a little, and I’ve grown bolder. These days, I can more or less articulate my stance when conversing with elders. Often, our chats circle back to familiar topics. Recently, prompted by a passing thought, I said, “Only now have I awakened from a long dream. This nation, in truth, ended a century ago—we’re but remnants.” My elder smiled faintly. I added, “It’s only by thinking this way that I finally feel free.”

雖說是遺民也怪，畢竟從沒有集體認同的一統對象，我們自古有的便是當地的認同感，和一大國無關。但說是遺民我才終於能將有所圖的意識摒除在我身之外，那些爭論原來都只是虛幻的泡沫，只是在魘裡說夢話的人們喋喋不休、不肯睜眼。

It may sound strange to call ourselves “remnants,” for we never truly had a unified object of collective identity. What we’ve always held is a sense of belonging to this local place—never to a grand nation. But in calling myself a remnant, I finally cast off any lingering ambitions for what could be. The endless debates—turns out they were just illusions, frothy bubbles of dreams muttered by those still trapped in a nightmare, refusing to open their eyes.

這塊土地上長不出理想的果實，有的只是順勢而生之民。

This land bears no fruit of ideals. Only people who learn to live by following the currents.

發表於 Some Thoughts

思緒垃圾 Mental Garbage

發表於 由Ran撰寫

近期因為職場上人事物總有不可抗力的變化，讓人容易變得多慮，而那些憂慮真的都是多餘、不必要的煩惱，因為「不可控」啊。

Lately, due to inevitable changes in people and situations at work, it’s easy to become overly anxious. But all those worries are truly unnecessary—because they’re uncontrollable.

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發表於 Relationships，Some Thoughts

不滿足 Dissatisfaction

發表於 由Ran撰寫

總是會失望，永遠無法在他人身上獲得毫無瑕疵的滿足，而他人同樣無法在我身上獲得百分之百的滿足。

There is always disappointment. One can never attain flawless satisfaction from others, just as others can never be fully satisfied by me.

只能在自己身上獲得沒有任何折扣的滿足。

True, undiluted satisfaction can only be found within oneself.

認知到這點，自然會放下對他人的期待。不再期待他人滿足自己的期待。於是心結便開了，他人帶來的滿足感隨之上升。

Once this is understood, expectations of others naturally fall away. I no longer expect others to fulfill my expectations. As a result, the knots in my heart begin to loosen, and the satisfaction others bring starts to increase.

不再追求「滿分」，只要「有分」即是幸福。

I no longer chase a “perfect score”; as long as there’s some score, that is happiness.

像是自欺欺人的論點，但確實能帶來一直以來嚮往的幸福感。

It may sound like self-deception, but it truly brings the sense of happiness I’ve long yearned for.

發表於 Some Thoughts

變動 Change

發表於 由Ran撰寫

如今誰都會認知到目前是個充滿變動的時代，但要「承認」這個事實卻有心理上的障礙。

These days, everyone acknowledges that we’re living in a time of constant change—but truly accepting that reality comes with a psychological hurdle.

為什麼會有這種體會？因為我職場上的主管，民國4年級生，生活在政治相較單純、經濟起飛的年代，那時累積的經驗都是有用的，因為日子過得慢且都很相仿，明日是昨日的累積。

Why does it feel this way? I think of my boss at work, someone born in the 1950s, who grew up during a period of relative political stability and economic boom. Back then, the knowledge and experience one accumulated were useful for a long time, because life moved slowly and predictably. Tomorrow was simply an extension of yesterday.

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